Mary Claybon's Middle Way Health Blog

Positive Emotions and Resiliency

I just got a neat article from Margaret Moore, CEO of Wellcoaches ,Coach Meg on positive emotions. They definitely increase life satisfaction and resilience, which are keys to living a long and healthy life.
Enjoy! And thanks Margaret!

Positive Emotions Increase Life Satisfaction By Building Resilience ScienceDaily (2009-07-12) -- People who seed their life with frequent moments of positive emotions increase their resilience against challenges, according to a new study.

From the article:

Building up a daily diet of positive emotions does not require banishing negative emotions, she said. The study helps show that to be happy, people do not need to adopt a “Pollyanna-ish” approach and deny the upsetting aspects of life.

“The levels of positive emotions that produced good benefits weren’t extreme. Participants with average and stable levels of positive emotions still showed growth in resilience even when their days included negative emotions.”

The bottom line is to be postive about your negative emotions. In other words, accept that there are ups and downs and that's life, but realize you always have control of your thinking. You can't always control the circumstances, but you can control how you are going to think about them.

I wrote an article called Nervous Breakthroughs and will post it as a new blog!!

Taking a Break with Sunflowers

The other day, I was working very productively when my girlfriend called and asked-"Do you have 15 minutes? I promise, that's all we need. I want you to see something." I thought, Do I dare take a break? Oh yes! It's usually not hard for me to get sidetracked. I better bring my camera.

She took me to a field of sunflowers, literally a few minutes from my house. I never noticed all the sunflowers. Perhaps they just bloomed. Of course!

Well I love sunflowers. They are such an interesting and happy flower! They face the sun, in fact, I think, their stems orient eastward. Here is an article about sunflowers on Wikipedia

I could have closed my eyes and opened them and pretended I was in Spain or France for a moment on a vacation outing with my dear friend. Well-it was a wonderful break and it made me smile. It only took 15 minutes and it was the best break of the day. A moment with a girlfriend, a moment with my favorite flower, and a mini vacation in my mind.

I came back and was even more productive. Breaks are good!

Still Getting Still

Some of the things I do to get still:

Journaling- Somehow writing in my little books about my thoughts and just about my days brings me peace. I take my journal with me everywhere. While waiting in doctor's offices, at restaurants, or as I am walking in Sharon Woods, my little journals are like a friend that I can tell anything to. I have been journaling for over 20 years now and have over 50 journals that reflect my life's journey-sometimes crazy, but always moving forward in depth and in discovery.

Yoga- I love moving and dancing and I love stretching and breathing with yoga. Yoga makes me slow down my body and my mind and helps me to savor the moment on the mat as I breathe in and out with each new posture. I started yoga also over 20 years ago now. I began with a little book by a Benedictine Monk, Father J. M. Dechanet. He taught how to learn yoga in a fortnight. I followed the book every day and soon was practicing yoga. Eventually I took classes from Lilias Folan and with Lilias as my mentor, began teaching my own classes. I still practice yoga-sometimes just in my mind, but even the thought of Namaste brings me peace.
Wow! I found a 1960 Time Magazine article about Dechanet:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,871651,00.html

Meditation-I have practiced many forms of meditation. This is challenging for me, someone who is high strung and full of energy. I am always thinking and it is difficult to simply sit still and focus on my breath or a mantra. I have the word MEDITATION in big block letters standing on the floor of my living room next to two little meditation seats I bought at a consignment shop. They call me to come sit and I often find other things to do. When I do sit, I come off my cushions with a whole new perspective on life. It's just all good and I feel organized again.

A Course in Miracles-This set of three books also came into my life over 20 years ago. Now I facilitate groups and retreats around this path to forgiveness and peace of mind. More on this in future blogs.

Soduko- Believe it or not, there is benefit to doing these little numerical puzzles. Once there was a man sitting next to me on an airplane. We were both doing our suduko. I said, "Do you really see any value in this?" He was a CEO of a company, and what he said made me really think. He said " Solving soduko makes you learn to listen." If you go too fast or your mind wanders, you will mess up the puzzle. If you methodically go through the numbers and pay attention, you will find the solution comes easy.
So true! When my mind is not focused, i can mess up the easiest soduko, and when I am focused, I can solve the most difficult with ease.

Playing with my 8 month old granddaughters-Just following their eyes and their sense of wonder makes me laugh, smile and stay in their moment. We play. We talk. We explore. A bird, a leaf, a flower are all new to a baby. Watch them stop and listen. It is soooooo coool. I have always enjoyed babies and children. I feel they are so wise and we have so much to learn from them.

A cup of tea in a tea cup- I love to sip tea from a china tea cup. Just holding it brings me peace

To be continued....

Why Not Meditate?

Why Not Meditate?

(I wrote this several years ago, but you know what? It still fits today)

    Everyday I feel the call to sit on my zafu (meditation cushion) or to gracefully take my body and mind through an hour of yoga. Somehow I have a stronger calling to go outside and grab the morning paper and sip flavored coffee as I read through the chaos of the world. Inside my mind and soul is a feeling compassion for everyone in the news. The news is mostly controversial, frightening, political, and just down right sad at times. There is always mass confusion about everything and no real long-term solutions to any big problems. I enjoy reading human-interest stories about people and especially enjoy reading the obituary stories to see how people lived their lives. Then I turn to the Tempo section, which has the Dear Abby column, the horoscope summaries for the day and my daily crossword puzzle that I take to the pot with me for morning elimination.
    After I have answered this calling then I again feel that little urge to go do yoga and meditation but somehow the computer calls me and I feel I have to go check my e-mail.
    Then I might sit down and write or make a phone call –anything but sit.
    Whatever is going on inside me emotionally I know will be settled on that cushion or yoga mat but for some reason I do everything else but that.
    What is going on here? I’ll tell you what I think. When I sit and get quiet the entire world is an illusion. Suddenly all that matters is a sense of peace and quiet. All of my problems are reduced –all of the issues that keep my brain rattling are minimize – and my mind translates this to – I am minimized. That is the little I -. The I that is proud and smart and business like and achievement oriented and successful or not. The I that talks to people and is recognized as a separate entity. The I that is reflected in all of my many roles that I think are so important. That I is minimized and when in deep meditation actually disappears.
    The big I that is one with the universe and God if you will, is maximized. That I is all that matters and the issues and problems of the world suddenly are gone.
    That is a scary thought to a big ego. That I would become so small and that God would be most important. That suddenly invalidates all the issues in the paper that I run to read every morning.
I am struggling to stay connected to the world – that is all I will say right now.
Now I will go and begin with yoga hopefully to end up on my cushion.

I noticed its two months since I worked on my "weekly" blog. Life passes by so fast. Since my last post I have facilitated an all day Course in Miracles retreat on Valentine's Day, the perfect day to celebrate love and forgiveness. We had a wonderful group of people on a rather cold day in a warm and comfortable room at Graileville Retreat Center here in Cincinnati. We all enjoyed having a day together so much that we have scheduled another retreat this year for September 12. If you are interested e-mail me at maryclaybon@gmail.com.

In March I had a wonderful visit with my granddaughter Lexi in Ann Arbor and then went on to spend several days with my sister and my nieces and nephews. It was their spring break and time to play. One day we went to five parks guided by my cell phone navigation system. What fun! It was like a new adventure each time and if you go to my Facebook page, my new profile picture is from a photo on one of the park rides.

I also spent two marvelous days with my Godmother in Chicago. We had time to chat and dine together as well as attend The Joseph Cardinal Bernardin Jerusalem Lecture on Jewish Catholic relations. This year's lecture was on Abraham and his relevance to the monotheism of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

And then along came April and the Easter and Passover holidays brought family and friends together.
We had the best Passover Seder with our granddaughters and our children.

In between all of this I am continuing to coach more clients and am working on my chapter for the book Discovering Your Inner Strengths coming out in June of 2009.

I have also updated My website my website. Please visit and send me a note with any comments or feedback.

I promise to write a more reflective post by the end of this month.

Namaste

Listening Prayer -Notes from my retreat at Gethsemane

Two weeks ago I spent a couple of days at one of my favorite places. It is quiet, spiritual, Catholic, and the perfect setting for contemplation and prayer. I forgot how much I longed for this space. My retreat was not completely silent. I met a wonderful group of people who retreat there every year. They were from all different religious and spiritual places-Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Jewish, and all coming with the same intention-to deepen their connection to God; to settle the stir within; and to catch up on real life and the spiritual life inside.

This place discourages the use of cell phones and has not wireless connection, therefore our normal communication connections become secondary to our soul connections which take no technology-what a nice space to be in.

I spent time in prayer, discussion, consultation with two wonderful priest/monks and started reading Thomas Merton again. He and I could have had some great discussions. He reminds me to continue the journey to authenticity on my path.

Now I am home, the phones are ringing, I am obviously back on my computer, and busy with day to day life. 

Tomorrow I will be leading a retreat of my own.

Remember to remember to breathe and pray

2009 Goals

I just finished writing my goals for 2009. Wow! I have busy year ahead. I have divided the goals as Writing Goals –including keeping up this blog. HOME (Happy Open Meditative Environment) Goals, Business Goals, A Course in Miracles Goals, and Personal Goals. 

Every month I also write a list of monthly goals to check off as I accomplish them. Weekly and daily lists are on my palm pilot and pretty much coincides with my calendar schedule. My day begins around 6:30 and ends around 10:30. My most productive time is during the day. After dinner is usually a quiet leisure time. We often eat dinner late to accommodate our exercise time. I would love to hear how others plan their year, months, weeks and days. 

Of course remember: The quickest way to make God laugh-tell Him your plans!

I am always open to all of them changing in an instant!!

Have a great year, month, week, and day!!

The New Year Has Begun

Happy New Year. It is the second day of the year and I have managed to stay balanced, not by long sitting meditation or disciplined yoga, but by maintaining an awareness of my energy and state of mind. We still have out of town company and we are entertaining again tonight. I had a party yesterday and partied at my daughter’s house on New Year’s Eve. Tomorrow we are celebrating my son’s birthday. On Sunday when our family goes home after a busy holiday week, our nest will resume its state of emptiness and there will be no excuse for not taking quiet time.  One thing I have found very helpful is to keep our stereo playing peaceful and soothing music. That does not mean it can’t have a bit of a beat. I like to break out into a dance every once in awhile. Dancing has a way of balancing energy.

I hope you are all enjoying the dance of life as the New Year begins.

Resolutions

It's the last day of 2008. I always love the day before New Year's because it causes me to reflect on how I want to live in the coming year. I always begin with the desire to quiet my mind and calm my body. In 2007 I managed to attend two yoga classes a week, journalled all year, and added time to simply sit occasionally. Then I hurt my shoulder with too many downward dogs, started physical therapy so in 2008 I was taking only an occasional weekly class. It seems quiet time took a back seat to busyness for much of the year. I always begin the day with good intentions, but find so many things needing to get done, that the sitting meditation just doesn't happen. 

This year I am excited about many things, but once again I want to make it a priority to balance my stress and put quiet time into my day. For me that will probably be a moving meditation. However when I stay aware of my thoughts and intentions, regardless of what I am doing, I become a participant observer in my life and all seems to flow. That is my goal this year to flow.

I plan to write more and keep my blog alive this year. I have to tell you about what I am most excited about -my new granddaughters-yes! Two of them, born in September six days apart. When I am with them, they center me. Their little breath calms my breath. Their smile makes me smile and appreciate the joy of life.

I am also excited about my work as a coach, A Course in Miracles teacher and perennial student of the Course, and a new book I will be contributing to this year. Stay tuned for Discovering Your Inner Strengths, a book of interviews with leading speakers, writers, coaches of which I am one along with Ken Blanchard of One Minute Manager fame, and Steven Covey who gave us the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Do stay tuned and do contribute to my blog. Happy New Year!! I look forward to sharing 2009 with you!

4 Questions to guide your healthy lifestyle

What are you eating?

Make a list of the healthy foods you love and like and those you don’t like. Make sure your daily diet includes the foods you love. If you are not sure what healthy food is any more, consult with a registered dietician or coach and be well on your way to a life time of eating for health and joy. Eat foods that are fresh, plant based, unprocessed, whole, and nutrient rich.

What are you drinking?

Most important are you drinking enough water? Your body is made up of 80% water and water is needed to keep all of your metabolic systems working smoothly. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day-not flavored water or fortified water or energy water-just plain filtered or spring water. You may need more or less according to your body size and activity level. Make your first choice of beverage a glass of water. Squeeze a little lemon juice in for added flavor and nutritional balance.

What are you doing?

Just move! Make sure your body gets enough movement during the day. Wear a pedometer and measure the number of steps you are walking in a normal day. Work toward getting 10,000 steps a day. Soon you will notice you are parking farther away when shopping, doing more daily errands, and taking extra walks during the day. Don’t just sit there- MOVE!

What are you thinking?

Watch your thoughts during the day. Notice when you feel afraid, anxious, or a sense of urgency. Take a deep breath and allow your mind to focus on positive thoughts. Bring joy into your life with little things- notice the flowers and trees in spring and summer, the falling leaves of autumn and the glistening snow of winter. Slow down and appreciate every moment and most of all have some sense of spirituality –the thought or feeling that you are not alone in the universe and that you are loved and cared for at all times. Pray; meditate; sit quietly with a book that makes you smile. Laugh more, and relate to others with a sense of compassion and forgiveness.